Simple Spritzer

Simple Spritzer
• 3/4s Pinot Grigio
• 1/4 Sparkling Water
• Muddled berries
• Ice

Occasionally you find yourself with some spare berries and way too much Pinot Grigio. I know, I know. Sounds like one of them good problems. WELL IT IS. I'M VERY PLEASED TO HAVE THIS PROBLEM. 

Anyway, hypothetically, you have berries and Pinot Grigio but you're like, "Meh, don't really feel like Pinot Grigio cause it's a little early in the day for me to start scarfing carafes."  

So, you take those berries and muddle them in your choice of glass (or, if you're a disgusting monster who can't find her muddler because you moved and that's what happens, you can just chew them up and spit them in YOUR glass [or perhaps your romantic partner's if they are chill with you being a disgusting monster without a muddler] not saying this is the preferred method, I'm just saying this is also works/I'm disgusting). 

You then fill the glass three-fourths of the way up with the Pinot Grigio. You then top it off with some sparkling water and some ice.

Boom.
YOU'RE SPRITZIN' WITH THE BEST OF 'EM.

Spicy Delta Cocktail Recipe

Spicy Delta
• One or two shots of tequila
• Muddle two slices of jalepeno into tequila
• Equal parts grapefruit juice & ginger beer
• Ice

We made this over the weekend to celebrate the first day of summer. But be careful with the jalepenos. If they're really potent, this drink will fuck your lips up for like an hour. If you want to play it safe, regular old Deltas without the jalepeno are also super delicious. 

For the record, the Delta was originally created by my wonderful better half, Ben. Although, I brilliantly brought the heat. We're a great team like that.

Hard Chillin Cidar Recipe

HARD CHILLIN CIDER
• 8 cups apple cider
• 1 1/2 bottles of Hogan’s Dry Hard Cider
• 3 12 oz. bottles of Reed’s Extra Dry Ginger Beer
• 2 1/2 cups of Maker’s Mark Whiskey
• 1 lemon juiced
• Orange bitters, to taste
• Garnish with orange slices & cinnamon sticks

This punch was a total hit. There’s a ton of alcohol in it, and you seriously can’t taste any of it. I got seven full grown adults awesome trashed on this. It was such a hit, I don’t think I’ll ever host an event without it.

Chardoncrayyy Bourbon Punch Recipe

Chardoncrayyy Bourbon Punch
• 2 bottles of chilled, not oaky/buttery Chardonnay
• 1 12-oz. bottle of chilled Rose’s grenadine
• 2 & 1/2 cups of chilled Bulleit bourbon
• 1 cup chilled orange juice
• 1 cu.p chilled cranberry juice

• 1/3 cup fresh lime juice
• 7 cups of ice cubes
• 2 12-oz. chilled can of Sprite
• 1 cup chilled club soda

Don’t let this punch’s Barbie coral pink color fool you— this shit is not fruity. Also, don’t be put off by the excessive Chardonnay. As you know, I’m not really that into Chardonnays, but this is soso good. A huge crowd pleaser that is refreshing and light but will get you fucking drunk