Folk Machine Charbono

Folk Machine Charbono
Region: Suisun, California
Year: 2014
Price: $18.99
Retailer: DomaineLA

Fuck man. It's December. When did that happen? 

I don't know why I'm surprised. I am surprised every year, as if December doesn't usually show up. You'd think I'd get over it after twenty some odd years living on Earth and all, but here I am, with my eyes popping out of their cartoon sockets at the sight of a calendar. 

I love December so much. It is one of my favorite months. But it's bittersweet. No matter how many ornaments you hang, or cookies you eat, or mistletoes you strategically get caught under, it's still the end. It's easy to accept the passage of time when spring blends into summer and summer slides into fall's tranquil interlude. Not so easy when it's staring you down from three weeks from now and your new desk calendar you swear is going to change your life arrives in the mail shrieking "JANUARY! 20FUCKING16!" in your face. 

This Charbono tastes like that. Bittersweet. Like I'm already sad about the bottle being gone while I'm still drinking it because I want it to last forever. It tastes like a night you know will end or... oh, no I'm sounding like lyrics from that one Eve 6 song. Okay, I'm done waxing poetic/2001. You are literate and of drinking age, you understand the meaning of "bittersweet".  

It also tastes bittersweet because it tastes like slightly sour Cherry Coke, which is fucking remarkable. Sour and Cherry Coke are probably my two favorite flavors in the WORLD. To have them come together in my favorite alcoholic beverage is bonkers. I love that it strikes you on the tip of your tongue and then mellows out on the swallow, which sounds sexual but because I am my own editor, I'm LEAVING IT. 

Although Charbono is one of California's original grapes, it is rarely produced these days. The Folk Machine Charbono not only utilizes one of California's "endangered" grapes, but it excels at it. Its bouquet is big and bold, but it's actually much lighter and charming than your nose would lead you to believe. Although it does have its tannins, they are well-balanced, making this wine a joy to drink rather than a chore. Truly a lovely bottle that I believe captures what I love so much about California's history and future in winemaking. 

Tasting Notes: The bouquet is big, earthy and fruity with lots of crisp blackberries. On the palate, medium-light body with lots of dark ripe cherries, vanilla, nutmeg and a touch of orange. Dry but balanced tannins leave you thirsty for more.

Ross Test: PASS! 

Halcyon Cabernet Franc

Halcyon Cabernet Franc
Region: Paso Robles, California
Year: 2014
Price: $39
Retailer: Halcyonwines.com

A highly regarded mainstay of the Paso Robles landscape, it would be hard to find a lover of California wines who did not enjoy Tablas Creek. So when I heard that assistant wine maker, Tyler Elwell, was launching a new wine label of his own, I couldn't help but be very excited, especially considering it was cabernet franc focused and Loire inspired. Each wine has a playlist to accompany it curated by Tyler & Kim, which is extremely tight. 

It just started raining, and oh man, I couldn't be happier to be in sweatpants drinking this beauty. I opened the windows and let the wet draft in. It has been so long since I felt cold air on my face or smelled wet concrete and leaves.  The magenta bougainvillea outside my window hang heavy under the water weight, the shades of the petals mimicking the colors of Halcyon's dazzling label. 

The definition of the word halcyon is "denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful." But the beauty of Halcyon wine is that that happy and peaceful time is right now. 

Their website touts this cab-franc as a summer red, perfect for chilling and grilling. If I had reviewed this weeks ago, I would have agreed and told you to make burgers. But that makes me even happier that I'm reviewing it on this sublimely rainy evening because it's also perfect for sweatpants, making tomato soup and watching X-Files. I love how versatile it is! It's like the perfect date! Up for anything! And cool, composed and sexy throughout it all! It's just so, so smooth, but still a little edgy so you know it's real. Like it's down to chill for sure, but it will also call you on your shit and make you laugh. This is totally your summer fling that lasts through the holidays.

And when I say "lasts through the holidays", I mean it dumps you. You would never dump this wine. It's too perfect. You'd have to be one of those liars that were like, "I'm sorry you're too perfect." It's just so well balanced that if you are not into it, you are totally unbalanced. 

Tasting Notes: Cinnamon sticks, cranberry, orange and slight peat on the nose. Tastes like smooth, ripe, berry chiffon jam. Luxurious in texture, light in weight. Pristinely balanced. So traditionally California, but brightly French. A new favorite. 

Ross Test: So easy going. Ugh, like, stop trying to get me to stalk you after you dump me in January please.

Weekend Plans: A Fall Picnic

Will Leather Goods' Utility Tote, Olive & Poppy's California Appellation Peshmetal, Latest Dreamy Periodical

Ah, Fall. The season of Neil Young, light cardigans, and waking cab-sauvs from their slumber. Things seem to have finally slowed, everyone coming down from the intense stimulant of summer. It feels like a big sigh. And, get this, you can go outside! And enjoy it! Because it no longer feels like you're a Lean Cuisine with the plastic wrap left on while cooking twenty minutes too long in a microwave of death. 

To celebrate the change of seasons and perhaps experience a breeze for the first time in months, I spread out my new Olive & Poppy peshtemal with a few of picks from California and a fall inspired cheese spread that I picked up at my local spot, The Cheese Store of Silver Lake. 

Corison Cabernet Sauvignon, 2005, $125

The centerpiece of any fall wine picnic should be a favorite cabernet sauvignon. I say this because Cabernet has been totally ignored since March and when you bring it back into the mix, it shines. Classic but always mysterious, much like a full moon. Corison makes some of my favorites. Warm, smooth and infinitely interesting with deep berries, lavender and what could only be described as "notes of Robin Pecknold's voice". Calm and orchestral, it's easy to get lost in a cabernet like this. But that's what you want in a cab. You want to feel like you've wandered into a forest with your favorite wooly cardigan and your lover.

Genuine Risk Red Blend (76% Cabernet Sauvignon, 13% Petit Verdot, 7% Cabernet Franc, 4% Merlot), 2013, $22.99

A good blend goes a long way, and will complement your cabernet pick without competing with its boldness. The Genuine Risk Red Blend is an awesome choice. It could be mistaken for a ridiculously expensive Bordeaux; so smooth with just the right amount of new oak. It tastes like you're drinking luxurious pillow cases, which I realize sounds silly now that I'm writing it down, but seriously. Pillow cases. So soft and comforting and opulent. 

Oceanside Ale Works "Daliesque" Lambic, 2012, $15.99

Mix it up with a lambic. I love lambics! Not a wine, but they're delicious. They work wonderfully as palate cleansers and awaken your tastebuds after you've drowned them in heavy reds and cuts right through the richness of the cheese. Try the Oceanside Ale Works "Daliesque" lambic. Warning: it is a very sour beer. Just like I like them! It's almost like lightly carbonated pickle juice with peach and a little caramel. 

From Left to Right: Heublumen (Switzerland), Tomme de Savoie (France), Oorsprong (Holland)

For as much as I know about wine, I don't know much about cheese, aside from the fact that I love cheddar. A LOT. But much like buying wine, that is why I buy cheese from people who know what they're doing so I can just be like, "Hey I love cheddar but am buying these wines, tell me what to do." And like magic, Maggie from The Cheese Shop of Silver Lake was like, "Try these!" and then I died and went to heaven. These raw cow choices worked so well with the wines I could just cry because I want to eat them all over again.

The Genuine Risk with a Raincoast crisp topped with the Oorsprong and a cornichon IS WHAT I WANT TO EAT EVERY NIGHT FOR DINNER FROM NOW UNTIL AT LEAST THE END OF NOVEMEBER. I MAY GET TIRED OF IT BY THEN BUT HOLY SHIT, TALK ABOUT THE BEST PAIRING EVER.

What wines are you excited to have back now that it's fall? Tell me in the comments so I can go buy them! 

OENO Pinot Noir

OENO Pinot Noir
Region: Sonoma County, California
Year: 2013
Price: $22
Retailers: LA/SF

I love quiet afternoons in sunny rooms with stacks of latest issues and books I've yet to finish, something enchanting echoing through the house. Today it's Travel & Leisure, Jay McInerney, and Les Baxter. Not all wines are meant for these moments, but I can't think of a better way to be enjoying the OENO Pinot Noir. 

It feels like a fuzzy throw blanket for my heart. And I love throw blankets. I have at least six throw blankets, and yet I can't help but want 400 more. I'm like this with most inventions of comfort and relaxation, including but not limited to oversized collections of overpriced candles, sweatpants, mud masks and bath salts (the kind for soaking, not for eating your neighbors' faces). 

I want to drink this wine while curled up in my throws while burning my favorite candle in my comfiest sweatpants wearing the tightest mud mask and somehow still be in the bath with these Fiddlefish bath salts I didn't need to buy but couldn't help it because I was stoned at the farmer's market and I CAN'T SAY NO TO BATH SALTS (in the non-eating-neighbors'-faces way).

I'm sure you're thinking, "Marissa, you can do that with any wine." And yes, but no. You're wrong. These sorts of "me time" activities-- like scanning Bon Appetit, eyeing shoes you can't afford and putting together new Pinterest boards because that is something you do now-- require a wine that is an ebb and flow of excitement and ease. You need a wine that is not only delicious and brings you back glass after glass, but that it is so easy to drink that you didn't even realize the bottle is gone and you have been shopping for vintage telephones on Etsy for two hours. 

The OENO Pinot Noir is that wine. 

But beware. This wine will be your new favorite throw blanket, but it will also tell you you are allowed to buy shoes for "Back To School" even though you are a drop-out with no plans of ever getting your bachelor's. So, what I'm saying is, it's your new favorite throw blanket/best friend. Kind of the same thing, to be honest. 

Tasting Notes: Energized bouquet, with tart red fruits, a hit of fresh cut grass and a touch of citrus. Bright and soft with lots of cherry and cranberry, hints of supple oak and a few stray Sour Patch Kids. Lovely warm and lingering finish, that throw blanket I'm talking about.

Ross Test: Good, but better out of the glass

Amplify Viognier

Amplify Viognier
Price: $22.99
Region: Santa Ynez, California
Year: 2014
Retailer: DomaineLA 

I first had Amplify wines while at Cliff's Edge, a restaurant I've been frequenting since I moved to Los Angels mostly for its Jungle Cruise-esque patio, California-savory menu and for impressing out of town family, but now mostly for its wine (and its patio). My friend Roni Ginach took over as wine director there this past spring, making it a oenophile's paradise. Roni is one of my favorite and most trusted people to just be like, "BRING ME WHATEVER YOU THINK IS DELICIOUS!" and then like a magical wine wizard, she does just that. 

It was Roni who turned me onto Amplify's carignane at Cliff's Edge one night, and subsequently made me a full-on fan girl. I've been crushing bottles of the carignane like no tomorrow because when you chill it, it tastes just like cranberry juice (which I love). Also, I love their wine making practices. This small winery is ran by Cameron and Marlen Porter and they are "not fans of dogma", which basically means they may not be following every word that Rudolph Steiner put out, but they do care about their product and their land. They use native yeasts and neutral fermentations, farm for nurturing their ecosystem, and the only additive is sulfur (which is necessary to create wines that can age). 

I was pretty much over the moon when I found out they had a viognier. Viognier is a cheeky white varietal that loves playing with misdirection. On the surface, it doesn't seem like a wine I would like very much. Everything about it from its color (faded 80's gold) to its bouquet (old 80's Dior perfume) scream "Ahhhh probably semi-sweet!" Which is not a risk I like taking. But I took it once and was glad I did. The palate is actually dry and drinkable despite being robustly floral and fruity.

Amplify's viognier is even more of a treat than your normal California viognier. I've had many from California that are a little thick and a little too rich, but Amplify does a stupendous job of balancing that richness with its tart, au naturale attributes. It is so complex and full of flavor, but is just so god damn citrus-ly carefree with such a lively finish I want to put on my bikini and run through some sprinklers (god damn am I bummed I can't do it the first summer I FINALLY have a backyard as an adult). 

AHHH IT TASTES LIKE A COLD THICK BREEZE OF SOUR APPLES AND TROPICAL FRUITS THAT I WISH I WAS OUTSIDE DRINKING RIGHT NOWWW... but can't because a group of grey hawk bros have nested in my neighbor's tree and swoop at my pomeranians and it gives me great anxiety because I don't want my dogs to get taloned by FLYING BEASTS (that happen to be beautiful, but fuck them for trying to pick up my dogs for dinner WHICH ISN'T EVEN POSSIBLE THEY ARE SO DELUSIONAL, but still beautiful).

This wine tastes like summer, which I know I say a lot, but I'll never stop saying it. A California girl at heart, I'll never stop comparing the wines I love to bodies of water, fresh cut grass, hot concrete and sand, and unadult-erated freedom. 

I'm so sad it's almost August. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to savor July, but remember when summer lasted forever? Bums me out when I think about how our perception of time is relative to how much time we have experienced and how time will only be shorter the longer we live it.

But then again, there are moments that last forever. Small tiny moments. Pressing your fingertips into crispy, dry sand on the dunes. Your feet stretching into unknown, cold areas inside your sheets. Showering after swim practice. The golden light as it fell across the California coast and across your grandmother's bedroom. All these things are so fleeting and yet, here they are. Fresher than tomorrow's farmer's market offerings, here those feelings are.

The Amplify viognier captures that for me. Those tiny moments. The perfect balance between brisk & fun, and whole-hearted & overwhelming. 

Tasting notes: Hard floral on the nose, but citrus and tropical and nectarines on the palate. Long finish, like you swallowed a mouthful of the Pacific. <3  
Yes, that's a <3

Ross Test: A little too floral! Stick to the glass. 

Alloy Wine Works' Grenache Rosé

UPDATE: NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE HERE! 

These are the only things I know about Allloy Wine Works' grenache rosé:

1. It showed up this morning in a box from Field Recordings
2. It is handpicked
3. It is cellared & packaged by Field Recordings
WHO CARES
5. IT'S DELICIOUS

I haven't had a chance to cover Field Recordings on the blog because I tend to drink all the wine with my fiancé before I can sit down and write about it, but Field Recordings is one of my favorite California wines. It's hard for me to have a dinner without a cab franc or chenin blanc of theirs. They also make Fiction canned wine, which is the first canned red wine I've ever fully endorsed.  Basically, I trust winemaker Andrew Jones' with my gut and soul.

When I first opened it, I wasn't quite sure, but after getting it to optimal temperature, I am extremely happy with this wine. 

Do you remember the first Tennis album? Cape Dory? That's what this wine tastes like. Like pink dreamy clouds languidly drifting upon a cornflower blue horizon, white sails lightly billowing in the breeze while sandy feet dance drunkenly off-beat on a wet deck. It's so fun, and gritty. Like you're gross. You're a disgusting human covered in sweat, humidity and sunscreen. And it's the best. The boat may never leave the dock but it doesn't matter, because your dirty little feet are moving and the only thing you can think about is looking into your dance partner's eyes for all of eternity. Does he even know how to sail? WHO CARES. I HOPE HE DOESN'T AND IT'S AN ADVENTURE FOREVER!

It's so youthfully romantic that you don't even realize you've had sand in your bikini bottoms for the last eight hours. Then you drunkenly make your way to the head and discover a load in your pants and you laugh even more. And you spend all night laughing about the load in your pants over tall-boys OF WINE. 

That is what this tastes like. It tastes like the springtime-of-my-life's ideals colliding with my adult-ass palate. It throws caution to the wind, but also takes great care of its flavors. 

SOME REALNESS: They have the best tasting notes on the can I'VE EVER SEEN. AND THE ONLY ONE I'VE EVER BEEN LIKE, "DAMN! YEAH! YOU'RE RIGHT! THIS IS STRAWBERRY AND GRAPEFRUIT AND GUAVA AND MINT AND SOUR PATCH KIDS AND ROSE PETALS! DAMN! ALLOY GETS ITSELF/ME!" 

I would just add "salt water sentimentality" and "MARISSA A. ROSS' SAP", but other than that, perfection.

La Clarine Farm "Jambalaia Rouge"

La Clarine Farm "Jambalaia Rouge"
Price: $21
Region: Sierra Foothills, California
Retailer: Silverlake Wine

It's Friday and I feel extremely lazy. Being lazy is the worst. I mean, if you're like, "Yo I feel so laaazzyyy" while smoking weed all day on a Saturday and that is how you totally wanted to spend your Saturday, that is chill because that is chilling. But feeling lazy as in you don't have the energy to even give a fuck if you had fucks to give, but you don't because you give no fucks. You're hanging out in a onesie and looking at your dogs for two hours. That lazy is the worst.

Anyway, I'm hanging out in a onesie looking at my dogs AND drinking La Clarine Farm's' "Jambalaia Rouge". So at least now I feel kind of productive. I diiid also buy pet food and pay the electric bill sooo, yeah. 

This biodynamic blend of 48% Mourvedre, 37% Grenache, 14% Marsanne and a whole 1% of Fiano/Ameis (hence the name gleaning on "jambalaya")  is so summery and spry! As soon as your nose dips into the glass, you swear you're smelling a freshly cut strawberry and rhubarb pie! I've never smelled anything so fruity with a touch of cream cheese frosting from a biodynamic. They're usually much more along the lines of "barnyard" and "seriously this smells like ass". 

I love this wine because although it is so light and energetic-- two of my favorite qualities of biodynamic wines-- it also has a real weight to its flavor. The earthy, lingering nearly ripe plum is reminiscent of a big California red, but without any of the shitty parts of a big California red. I'm almost sad I didn't save this for the steaks we're cooking later, but then again, reeeally happy to be drinking it now.

I threw it in the fridge for a bit, and it's even better. Completely ironed out, but still with a faint, sexy grittiness. It tastes like I shouldn't be drinking it; that rather than grapes, this wine is made from juiced garnets. 

Tasting Notes: Tastes like you found One Eyed Willy's treasure and you opened the chest and it was garnet wine pies and then you ate them all and then swam in a sea of gold then DIED EXTREMELY HAPPY.

Ross Test: I was expecting to say, "NO! NEVER! YOU DON'T GET THE PIE ON THE NOSE!" but like the rest of this wine, the Ross Test has also proved to be unpredictable. IT IS SO GOOD. SO CHUGGABLE! I feel wrong telling you to chug this bottle but you need to chug this bottle after you've had it in the fridge for a cool 30.

Rebel Coast's Sunday Funday

Rebel Coast's Sunday Funday
Region: Sonoma, California
Retailer: Sip! Wines' "Blends Have More Fun" Trio

And stay tuned for the rest of my reviews of the "Blends Have More Fun" trio!

I moved into my new house last year, in the dead end of the dog days of summer. It was far too hot to enjoy my backyard but now that spring is here and it's 76 and sunny, I'm trying to spend at least a couple hours every day out here. And many, many hours on Sundays. 

So this bottle of Sunday Funday defintely spoke to me when I opened up my "Blends Have More Fun" trio from Sip! Wines. 

Sip! Wines curates different trios of wine, all with fun, clever themes like "California Coast Road Trip", "Everything Is Coming Up Rosé" and "Play Your Chards Right". The trios are shipped straight to your door-- or your hotel if you have a trip coming up-- and are equipped with tasting notes, pairing ideas and information on the wineries. It's pretty sweet, and I'm super stoked to have three new blends to try.

And today, while my boyfriend pours mulch,
I'm pouring Sunday Funday.
Which wins best label designs.

First of all, the front side has everything illustrated that I love on it (besides my pets and my boyfriend and my sister and my Adidas Boosts). Then the back is basically a pass to do whatever you want to do with your day because the boys at Rebel Coast are proud of you, "even if your neighbors think otherwise". THEN you can PEEL OFF THAT LABEL and you HAVE A FUNNY TO-DO LIST! 

This would be the best gift wine ever just because the label is so fun. Take it to a picnic or a girls' night and complete the To-Do list! For me! Because I only have one ex from high school and he stalked me so I can't ever send him a selfie or even a pleasant "Hope you're well!", and the only public fountain near me is literally surrounded by punk vagrants, and my mom isn't on Facebook. 

The Sunday Funday has a stainless steel Chardonnay base, with Sauvignon Blanc and Viognier. I'm not a huge Chardonnay fan, and this tastes mostly like Chardonnay, but the good kind of Chardonnay. It's not buttery or oaky (RE: stainless steel tanks bro), just straight up tropical notes. Lovers of fruitier white wines, this is for you. It's easy drinking with subtle complexity, so you can have a conversation about the palate or just drink the hell out of it. 

Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc and Viognier are all considered very middle ground in terms of dry to sweet wines. If you're a fan of Moscatos and sweet Rieslings, this would be a fantastic bridge wine into new, drier varietals because it's really not that dry, and it's very juicy. My sister-in-law who I had to nearly fist fight to drink a Pinot Grigio would really love this. 

Give it a little time to open up and the fruit flavors become much more cohesive and smooth. Also a huge benefit of this wine is that I think it tastes better between cold and room temperature.

For my personal taste, this wine had a little too much fruit and viscosity on its own to just chug in the sun. But an added ice cube and a bag of Rusty's Island Potato Chips made it a perfect picnic for ONE. AKA ME. AKA ME RIGHT NOW. AKA ME FOR THE NEXT THIRTY SUNDAYS.

IT MAY BE SUNDAY BUT HEY THERE IS BUSINESS TO DO, CHECK OUT THIS "HEY I MEAN BUSINESS" STANCE, V V BUSINESS-LIKE

Tasting Notes: Smells like Viognier, tastes like Chardonnay and finishes like a Sauvignon Blanc-- Peach blossoms on the nose, pulpy Pineapple and Gala apples on the palate with a citrus melon musk finish. Very well balanced. I see this being a crowd pleaser at any weekend gathering.

Ross Test: EXTREMELY DO-ABLE. TROUBLESOME. :D

Valentine's Day Is About Love, Of Wine

Valentine's Day. A lot of people hate it, and I gotta say to those people: you're missing the point. You're of course right that this shit is trite as fuck and it doesn't matter, but who cares! It's a wonderful excuse to drink lots of wine with your loved ones, whoever that may be. Could be your signif'other or it could be your childhood best friend or it could be your mom or your cat or a Lush bath bomb. Doesn't matter. What matters is what always matters with holidays: WINE.

Take a date with one of these reds, and you'll be feeling the love in no time.

Evolution Red
Price: $15
Region: Oregon

This would be a great wine to share with a date, for a couple of reasons.

Let's start with the label. On the back, it has this funny infographic timeline that starts at "Amoeba Multiply" and covers historical moments like "T-Bone Perfected" and "Aliens Land And Build Pyramids", and finally ends in the era the call "Pretty Much Now" with a moment called "Pour. Sip. Evolve. Repeat." That alone is a great conversation starter. If the History Channel has taught me anything, it is that people have a lot of opinions on Aliens building pyramids.

Another great conversation starter: the legs. This wine has legs for days, which is always a nice segue to talk about your legs, or their legs, or someone's legs, and hopefully then you can talk about butts or tits or whatever you like that is stacked upon a human's legs. And then just bone down right there. JK. Actually, JK about JK cause that sounds like it could be a super hot.

ANYWAY, ok, if you don't get caught up in legs and hot sex, you could pair this wine with some really fun date dishes you could cook together. It's a really smooth Syrah blend that is bold up front and softly subsides into a lovely warm finish. Build some pizzas, grill some steaks, take a crack at your Grandmother's bolognese and fuck it up and just laugh and have more of that hot sex I was mentioning. 

On the other hand, I am alone drinking this right now, and I've never felt less alone. I've got Getz/Gilberto playing and I feel so warm and fuzzy and full of love. Open this bottle and eat some BBQ any day of the god damn week cause you need to love yourself all year.

Tasting Notes: Big cherries, cinnamon and tobacco

Ross Test: Surprisingly great. Usually things that good in a glass suck at chugging but, delicious! 

La Lunotte Les P'tites Vignes
Price: $20
Region: France
Year: 2013

This is my bath wine. I light my fancy candle (you know, the one you never light except to impress dinner party guests), put on some jazz, vigorously pour/throw bath salts like champagne in a 90's rap video, and serve this Gamay chilled. To myself. I serve it to myself. And I'm like, "Oh, thank you! You're so kind! I can't believe you're sharing this with meee!" 

It's such a pretty feminine color, but don't let that fool you. This ain't no L'Oreal Riche. It's a really bright, light, funky, and fun little number. It's Sex In The City in a glass, which is a tired comparison I'm incredibly embarrassed to be using, but I just started watching the show, so please just let me have this this one time.

Right off the bat, it's totally a Carrie with it's very fashion-forward funk. But then it has Miranda's restraint. And then it finishes soft like Charlotte's smile. But the whole time you're like AHHH I COULD FUCK THIS WINE! Cause it's a Samantha at heart.

Anyway, so this is the part of the post where I just go kill myself for that paragraph I just wrote.

Eh. Changed my mind. Not sure if there's wine in the afterlife.

Tasting Notes: Funky but balanced. Manure on the nose, and roses and pepper on the palate. But not at all overpowering. Very drinkable, and a new house staple for me.

Ross Test: Good, but a little much. 

Stolpman Vineyards Rosé
Price: $17
Region: California
Year: 2014

This wine is like a date that you thought was going to go badly, but ends up being awesome. You're like, "Wow, really glad I stuck around despite thinking he has been wearing the same cologne since 8th grade!"

If you couldn't tell, I am not a huge fan of this bouquet. It comes on sweet, the one thing that immediately puts me off with wine and men. 

Not that I thought my now boyfriend of nearly six years was wearing some CVS cologne when I met him, but he was sweet to me. He wasn't even annoyingly sweet, he was just "sweet" as in "how someone who respects another human and probably wants to put their dick inside them" kind of sweet. Like, good sweet. Really good, great, amazing, perfect sweet.

But to me, a legit kind of damaged human who was super into dudes who were super not into her cause hey, Dad stuff probably, I was like, "What is this? What do I do with this? I think I like this dude? Like a lot. But he's sweet I don't like sweet dudes why is he so sweet to me uhhhh I should probably keep seeing him cause I'm just not used to it and I think dudes are supposed to be sweet to ladies? And I'm a lady? OK maybe sweet is actually pretty cool, and has a super sharp witty side and isn't a weird softy that is obsessed with me and wants to hand-make me cards or marry me tomorrow, oh right cause the problem this whole time was me, this is actually just awesome."

The point is, you should give things a chance. Because despite a sweet bouquet, there's a good chance that there is a compelling and refreshing palate there that you are destined to hang out with forever. 

Tasting Notes: I'm mostly impressed by the minerality of this wine, because from that sweet nose, you're really not expecting it. And I love it. So yes, a wonderful minerality, plus crisp floral notes and a subtle hugging finish.

Ross Test: Enjoyable, and encouraged! 

SIDE BAR:

Guys... gals, people, homies, readers! I'm sorry my natural inclination is to say "guys", but! The point is! Don't let Valentine's Day define you. YOU DEFINE VALENTINE'S DAY. It's a day that some random-ass human one day was like, "Oh this is a thing now", and now it's a thing; a weird mostly corporate bullshit thing that was super fun in second grade when everyone was required to give Valentines to the entire class. But what that thing is in your life now, is entirely up to you. So make it the best it can be. Make it an excuse to have a really fun day, no matter how you do it. Every day, whether it be a Hallmark holiday or not, is a day for you. And an opportunity for you to live your life just as you'd like to.

Hopefully with wine.